So you’re a billionaire?
Sucks, doesn’t it? No one understands you. Everyone treats you like you’re some kind of monster. And why? Jealousy, that’s all. Nothing else.
Billionaires in today’s world are, perhaps, the most discriminated against class in the world. Scapegoated and reviled, everyone abuses you and blames you for all the world’s woes.
I have thus decided to try and rescue all billionaires from the calumny laid upon them. This is to be accomplished through the Pete Marchetto Billionaires’ Supporters Club, a charitable foundation in the truest sense of the word, albeit not officially.
How it works
The idea behind the PMBSC is modelled upon the history of the Medicis. Or the Borgias. Some bunch of Italians, anyway. The privileged rich of their time in Rome, or Florence, or wherever it was, they were despised. They burned Joan of Arc at the stake. They funded Attila the Hun. Something like that. Point is, whatever it was they did, it wasn’t very nice.
You have probably never burned anyone at the stake, nor funded anyone nasty to go around invading places, and yet still you are despised.
It’s not fair!
However, one thing – and one thing alone – rescued the reputation of the Medicis in the pages of history. Or the Borgias. Through their patronage of creative genius, enabling artists to eat and have a roof over their heads and other mundane stuff they probably wouldn’t have bothered with otherwise, the world today has Michelangelo, Mozart and the Beatles. Maybe not the Beatles. Not sure about the other two either come to think of it but anyway, some well-famous people for sure.
I am, therefore, offering myself up as such a recipient of your largesse in the modern-day. For just one million United States dollars (or the equivalent thereof) you will have your name, in big letters, displayed on his page as a supporter of the arts. You can send a link to it to people who abuse you and say “Look here! I’ll have you know I’m quite a decent person!” and thus throttle their unwarranted criticism.
What are your obligations?
I appreciate that, as a billionaire, you’re pretty busy. You don’t want to get involved in another charitable enterprise – you just want to invest in something that looks after itself.
The PMBSC offers you precisely that. Just cough up, and you’re done.
The 100th member of the PMBSC will receive a commemorative sweatshirt. You don’t have to wear it or anything.
Are you only a millionaire?
Sucks, doesn’t it? The billionaires swan around treating you with contempt and won’t let you join their clubs.
Well, worry not, your days of being discriminated against are (nearly) over!
For just one hundred thousand United States dollars (or the equivalent thereof) minimum, you can become an affiliate member of the Pete Marchetto Billionaires’ Supporters Club. Your name, too, will be on the list, (only in smaller letters and in a separate section, and you’re not eligible for the sweatshirt).
This is just perfect! I am so happy! What do I do?
In order to stop the plebs wasting my time, I have to begin with a simple screening procedure. That means you put USD10,000 in my PayPal account an I’ll get back to you about the other USD990,000, (USD90,000 for affiliate members). Please note, this money is not refundable, though it will buy you a foretaste of what is to come with your name in very tiny letters in the members Pending section.
Just hit this button, pay up, and you’re on your way!
Please provide your contact information so I can work out a means of payment for the balance.
Once you’re paid up, your name will be elevated up from the Pending Members section in the list of luminaries below.