Geeks Forum

MisterFrump: Does anyone know how I can boost the system volume in Windows XP?
Doodlefart: You don’t want to do that, mate, you’ll blow your speakers.
MisterFrump: No, it’s okay, I won’t crank it up too loud.
Doodlefart: Yeah, you say that, but I think Microsoft knows what it’s doing and if you crank it up to 11 you’ll blow your speakers.
MisterFrump: No, it’s just the volume’s too low. Anyway, does anyone know how I can boost the system volume in Windows XP?
Chunter: You’re using XP?
MisterFrump: Yes.
Chunter: You should be using Windows 7. It’s great. I know how to do it in Windows 7.
MisterFrump: Yes, I will upgrade soon.
Chunter: You should be posting to the Windows 7 forum then. I can help you in there.
MisterFrump: When I say soon, I don’t mean right now.
Chunter: When then?
MisterFrump: Not now. Do you know how to do it in Windows XP?
Chunter: I don’t know anything about Windows XP.
MisterFrump: Then why are you answering questions in the XP forum?
Chunter: There’s no one online in the Windows 7 forum. So I came into the XP forum to tell people to upgrade to Windows 7.
MisterFrump: O…kay. Well, does anyone know how I can boost the system volume in Windows XP?
Jimbo: You don’t want to do that. You’ll piss off your neighbours something chronic having your music too loud.
MisterFrump: It won’t be too loud, I promise. Do you know how to do it?
Jimbo: Nope.
Sammyboobs: And budgies.
MisterFrump: What?
Sammyboobs: They don’t like loud noise. Do you have a budgie?
MisterFrump: No, I don’t have a budgie.
Jimbo: Do your neighbours have a budgie?
MisterFrump: Not to the best of my knowledge, no. Look, does anyone know how I can boost the system volume in Windows XP?
Sammyboobs: Maybe just check with your neighbours first, see if they have a budgie.
MisterFrump: I will, I promise, before I do anything drastic. Do you know how to boost the system volume in Windows XP, Sammyboobs?
Sammyboobs: No, I usually answer questions about budgies.
MisterFrump: Then what are you doing here?
Sammyboobs: There’s no one in the budgie forum.
MisterFrump: Fine. Well, does anyone know how I can boost the system volume in Windows XP?
Doodlefart: I still say you’re going to blow your speakers.
MisterFrump: Okay look, my amp’s buggered, I can’t turn up the volume control, it’s all too quiet, I just want to find a way I can boost the system volume in Windows XP.
Twinkle: I get what your problem is.
MisterFrump: Thanks, Twinkle. So how do I do it?
Twinkle: You need a new amp.
MisterFrump: Yes, thanks, I know, but just as a workaround, just for now, do you know how I can boost the system volume in Windows XP?
Twinkle: I know how to do it in Windows 10. Why don’t you upgrade to Windows 10?
Doodlefart: I still say you’re going to blow your speakers.


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