This is what REALLY happened last night

Things got nasty last night on the site – you all know which site I’m referring to – and I’m going to tell everyone exactly what happened for once and for all.

It all kicked off on the I Have A Nice Bottom thread when Angelcake threatened to kill Peacenik because he farted.

Peacenik is one of the nicest guys on the site and he didn’t fart, he was just shuffling in his plastic computer chair with his mic on, but Fatbelly said he farted and Fatbelly is always following Angelcake around and giggling.

Angelcake is really Party Pooper and, as old hands will know, Party Pooper is the nastiest troll on the site. He’s been thrown off for abusing people, calling them pseudo-intellectuals and all kinds of other horrible stuff.

So really it’s Party Pooper threatened to kill Peacenik who is really Flirtyboy.

So anyway, I went to the defence of Cucumber who was getting caught in the crossfire between Badgerbaiter and Gentleman who is really Claptrap because Cucumber had fallen over and broken her leg. Badgerbaiter has already been reported to the FBI, Mossad and the RSPCA for his activities on another site where he refused to stop impersonating several members of the Royal Family who are really Grandular, (Princess Anne), Happy Snaps, (Prince Edward) and Love Me Sailor, (the Queen) so as you can imagine they were getting pretty annoyed by it and had already spoken with Scotland Yard, (who is also Whomper).

Things got really nasty when Flagpole, (Bilgeflasher), told Spank Me, (Phototronic), he was a bastard (Jasper Pinkums) and owed him ten quid (previously known as Eleven Pounds Fifty).

Right here and now I want to say that it definitely wasn’t me who lost my temper (otherwise known as Pungent Nipple) with Bugflogger, or Clandestine Whelk, or Flickme Anonymous, who are all Jelly Colonoscope anyway, and everyone knows that Jelly Colonoscope is Philtrum, nor did I threaten to kick his cat, (Nostril Hairwax).

Anyway, the moderators deleted the thread, but don’t think for a moment that any of you bastards has heard the last of this.

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