Welcome to the World Leaders Sitting on the Toilet campaign.
The aim of the campaign is to get every world leader – be he or she the leader of a nation, or some religious or secular group with influence over the lives of millions – to submit a picture of themselves sitting on the toilet.
Sitting on a toilet is a great leveler. We all do it from time to time – the consequences of not doing so don’t bear thinking about – and world leaders are no different. It is what makes us human. Well that, language, and opposing thumbs.
It is good for us to remember from time to time that world leaders are themselves human. It is good for them to remind themselves of that fact as well. They have no extraordinary powers, they have no arcane knowledge, they are not immortal, they have no special access to any divinity, their IQs are not rated in the thousands, they’re just people. Like you. Like me. Like the bloke down the corner shop from whom you buy your milk. Fallible. Ordinary. Human. They, too, sit on toilets. Don’t be fooled by the glitter.
It is my belief that no person should gain significant levels of power over the rest of us without first submitting a photo of themselves sitting on a toilet to, say, the UN for publication. It’s a small price to pay, let’s face it. Indeed, it is so obvious this should happen that I searched the UN pages for those very pictures but, to my horror, found no such page existed.
As a stop-gap measure while they sort it out, I am hosting the page for them. If you are a world leader, please send a photograph of yourself sitting on the toilet for publication here, along with some means of verifying your identity to prove you’re not just some mischief-maker playing fast-and-loose with PhotoShop.
If some leader has significant control over your life, and millions of others, and you don’t see them pictured here, please contact them and alert them to the service so they may submit their own photo. They may not be aware the page exists. Anything’s possible.
If, after you have contacted them, they continue to be absent, you may be sure that person takes him- or herself much too seriously. Don’t vote for them again. Or protest on the streets. Or write a letter to your national press complaining about their omission. Until every such leader is represented here, we must fear hubris on the part of any absentee.
In their absence, just imagine them sitting on a toilet instead. Encourage others to do so.
There now! You see? They’re just ordinary people to be given no more – and no less – respect than any other administrator deserves. Be nice to them. But don’t kneel.
Because you see, folks, if we forget that, if we keep kneeling, looking up at them, and imagining we see them on some higher plane that doesn’t really exist, then the nonsense isn’t really their fault.